uh

heh i found my fucking password

Sat, 27 Jan 2007 15:24:29 GMT

damn i havnt been on here since i joined the hatters

shit that was a while ago

fuck that i quit
and fuck ryan

im broke as fuck
i just lost my job
and my last paycheck is all goin to bills

no money in my pocket
no gas in my car

and i need a fucking ciggarette

i mite have to move back in with my dad
the fucker who kicked me out
but ever since my mom left him hes sad
he has no friends
my lil bros hate him

hell ihate the bastard

i need some fucking money

like 20 for gas
40 for food to last till tuesday
and like 15 for ciggs

sweet ima go rob someone

fuck this

Thu, 06 Jul 2006 16:53:58 GMT

havnt been here in a while
um lets see
playin with the hatters is possibly the best thing to happen to me in a long time
i go on tour sat and wont come back til the 17th
IM PLAYING CBGB's
holy shit
its guna be a good time

everything is chill, i move out soon, i have a job
MY GIRLFRIEND IS WONDERFUL
jessica your a doll

im only missing 1 thing
and i dono if ill ever get that back, and living without it is hard
o and massacre of the umbilical chord is wonderful

Tue, 30 May 2006 19:28:16 GMT

eh im frustrated
girls are a pain in the butt
not mine tho shes great

hmm i should get on here more

Mon, 22 May 2006 20:13:26 GMT

so im in a new band
THE MADDHATTERS
their old guitar player quit so i was like ooo pick me
and they did
i played my first show sat
it went pretty well
i have another one this saturday
with THE PIETASTERS
yea
thats guna be nuts
its at luckys go

jessica is wonderful

bye

egad

Wed, 26 Apr 2006 11:23:11 GMT

i have now decided to update

update

now that thats ot of the way
jessica is great
my friends are well
i dislike drugs and booze
and i really dislike rent a pigs at the mall

i smoke a pipe occasionally
it has pipe tobacco in it
im 18 i can do that

life could be better tho

prom

Sun, 23 Apr 2006 22:44:33 GMT

prom was cool
i went with stacy
odd but it was cool
didnt stay to long
went to a party
it was fun
thats all the info i will post
haha

wat?

Wed, 19 Apr 2006 11:48:10 GMT

its my birthday to day

and la laas

happy birthday lalaa

eh

Tue, 11 Apr 2006 19:46:54 GMT

tara broke up with me a couple days ago
eh o well

i turn 18 on the 19th

woo buy me stuff

lameness

Thu, 06 Apr 2006 02:45:37 GMT

so tara is being weird and i dont like it
eh owell

Mon, 03 Apr 2006 17:28:39 GMT

so ok every actions have consequences, and ive skipped and slackked off all semester. between not wanting to care cuz of family stuff, hating life and just plain being lazy ive pretty much failed senior project and earth science.

im not even saposed to be taking earth science, and up untill almost midterms i was waiting for the school to let me drop the class, and then they finally told me that my old school didnt transfer all my credits( the same reason why i cant get my liscense before im 18). so i failed the first quater because i didnt do anything, an administrater was saposed to get the teacher to let me make up all the work because they took so long to tell me i had to stay in the class. that administater is avoiding me and ignoring my parents fone calls.

i wrote my final research paper for senior project, and was finishing it at school, and we had a fire drill i come back and the paper is gone, this was on the day that it was due. so i re-write it and 5 pages in and the server goes down and i loose it again. so i re write a half done 6 page sloppy version 3 days late and fail it. i got a zero.

i could make up all this stuff and barely pass my senior year but it wouldnt be rite.

fact is even with all these excuses i slacked off and skipped alot. i shouldve been doin the science stuff untill i was switched out, and i shouldve had better time manegement on my paper. and i shouldnt skip so much

so im dropping out and re enrolling in the fall, not quitting just restarting.
ill graduate in december
its better than having really low grades or even failing my senior year

this also lets me start working full time, ill be 18 on the 19th and il be able to drive. so im guna find a full time job in leland. there hiring everywhere over there but i never got a job cuz i couldnt get there.
this is kindve a good thing tho, cuz well i need the money, actually my family needs the money as well, for those who dont know im poor. my family is poor. and it sucks. im pretty sure my dad is squandering money somewhere like he used to in strip clubs. i just cant prove it.

yea so this is wat i gota do.

yea i made some mistakes but im owning up to them and im guna fix em.

if u think i wasted alot of time slacking off, ur rite, but keep your comments to your self, this is guna be hard enuf with out ppl tellin me how stupid i am, and if u wana talk with yur friends about how dumb i am, then dont talk to me at all, i dont need friends like that.

ive been gone fo a while

Wed, 29 Mar 2006 21:00:01 GMT

and im thinking of disapearing

{not suicide douchebags}

but kinda sliding of the face of wilmington
or maybe just hidong under your beds??

lame lame madeline sux lame

Wed, 15 Mar 2006 19:44:45 GMT

so everyone hates me
wat else is new
i guess im a trend
ppl love me then they hate me
wonder when ill come back in fashion??

happy bday made nice way to celebrate

Tue, 14 Mar 2006 12:57:42 GMT

im in a Tom Waits mood

aggravation

Tue, 07 Mar 2006 12:16:50 GMT

savvy i must thatnk u again, streetlight manifesto has been kicking my ear drums and im loving it

in other news
im sick
im scared of rachel
(yea im scared??)
im trying to settle stuff
finish school
kill my dad
and live happily ever after

Thu, 02 Mar 2006 18:35:08 GMT

i finished writing that thing
i like it
i dont care if YOU(happy danny), dont

All hail the dictator
Run u bastards he’ll have your head
And she’s sitting at his right hand
With both hands down his pants
He belongs to her now you understand
Were all done you understand
The war is on we are the pawns
No one can save you
No knights to protect you
We’re ill supported ill equipped
And nothing is sacred
And we aren’t worth shit

All hail the king,
Lead us to till the end
Long live the king
Lead us to our death
You fools you fools
Forget your problems
Take up arms
Fight those who are different
Listen to our king

Regret, its pounding in our drums
Rebel, it’s pumping thru our veins
No longer will we be pushed aside
No longer will I work for a your wrong cause
There’s an uprising in the land
KILL THE KING KILL THE KING
And in the end well all play fair
The field is full of blood
Innocents slaughtered for your war
And your days are numbered
The king has returned

RETURN OF THE KING
RETURN OF THE KING
ALL HAIL THE KING

i hate apricons

Wed, 01 Mar 2006 18:06:06 GMT

thats right i wana punch them in the face
im bored and hungry
i ditched my pastor yesterday
ima dick

ooo and i wrote somethin
i kinda like it
its weird
different

oo and i told rachel i love her
prolly a mistake but i did
i told her it wasnt like i wana spend the rest of my life with u thing
but for rite now i just wna be with her
im 99% sure she feels the same way
i never can tell with her,

Mon, 27 Feb 2006 18:34:46 GMT

so i just realized something, i have lj icons
and i dont care
2 bright eyes ones and a underoath one

anyway

senior project still sux

and i freaked out this weekend
wow did i freak out
it was really bad
i kinda dont trust myslef anymore
i dont wana be alone with a certain person
i fell like a douche

ice leads to bad things

i win

Fri, 24 Feb 2006 18:39:04 GMT

soo yea i owned senior project
came in teacher told me i had a 23
looked at her and said but i have stuff to turn in
now im passing with fyling colors
oo and i got caught skipping
ive been to senior project 7 times this semester, wait today makes 8
and my dads pissed at the school for taking so long to catch me
so my parents dont care, and their guna have a meeting with some school person, and my dads just guna yell at em
wat a dick

rachels party tonite
shes a sweety
i like her
himsa darkest hour sat
wooo

im amazing

senior project ats that???

Thu, 23 Feb 2006 18:33:50 GMT

good God im bored
senior project sux
i dont wana be her e but i came for once so stop yellin at me
i smoked a black in mild yesterday, my first in a month ina half
eh dont yell at me it was only one
rachels bday fri
himsa/darkest hour sat, dono if i wana go to that
i think im guna but now i gota go buy a ticket
lame
i got senioritus bad
i dont ever wana be here
i kinda wana drop out, and do cape fear just so i can be done with it, BUT IM NOT

unless i dont get the shit that i need to do my senior pro, not the work or class stuff, surprisingly im fine on that, but i need a new sound card, a new computer mic, and a drum set in the next 2 weeks or i wont be able to do the actual project and then i will fail

eh o well
i really dont care abou school or anything rite now
pretty much all i wana do is play music and go to church
oo and by the way church is amazing
its done me lotsa good, im really getting happy

stuff at home is getting bad, theres alot of stuff thats just about to exploud, and wen it does, well schools not guna help me get thru it, hell im not sure wat will
but stuff is getting really bad, my dads sucking up again, which means hes about to pull something, its the calm before the storm

my moms about to go thru the roof
brandon just got kicked outa school for good, were sending him away for sure now, i saw my mom print of the form
lighthouse ranch for boys
thats where hes goin
thats where u go wen u tel teachers that ur guna kill them

gay

Thu, 16 Feb 2006 23:30:50 GMT

hi im tara and im gay

ahh

Fri, 27 Jan 2006 12:11:39 GMT

today
im guna see avenged sevenfold
finally
and its guna be amazing
nothing can ruin my day
and im guna get on stage
prolly get kicked out but o well ima get on stage

oih

Thu, 26 Jan 2006 22:01:15 GMT

UG DEDEUMDE UG

1MORE DAY TILL A7X

ahh

Tue, 24 Jan 2006 03:51:58 GMT

friday-A7X with courtney
saturday-come home and go try out for a band

the band lost their guitar player to college, so they need a new one
there kinda whiny soft emo now but they wana get heavier.
i played with the bass player today, kinda blew his mind. he wasnt expecting wat i did
so im prolly guna be screaming and doin lead guitar for the band
the drummer sings
cuz i cant
at all
cant sing

but the bass player liked wat i did, he was really into wat i played and the way i screamed
so sat i go to their practice space

good weekend

oo and did i mention

IM BACK IN CHURCH

and i love it

a diff church
diff ppl
and im happy

good times

more lame ass rambles

Sun, 22 Jan 2006 05:54:11 GMT

and i thought i was never good enuf
thought that i was to insignificant
but then i woke up and shook off the doubt that corroded my plans of conquering places and making myself feel amazing
and then i looked around and i saw no reason to go on and if i really even cared about anything i wouldve been gone a long time ago
so wat if i cant see
so wat if i never knew
ill get over it just u watch

Wed, 18 Jan 2006 01:18:27 GMT

wat do i say wat do i say
happy and sad who could be in my way
watch at for me love me
closely
grab the bottle itll make it easy for me
ill lead myself on again and again
forcing myself to relocate and make new freinds
hating where i was before
itll never change itll never change
ill be the same day after day

get out of my way
watch your step theres a trap behind u
lie lie lie lie lie lie lie
ill keep on lying only if u promise not to die
and wen i remeber how to sew my my mouth back shut
ill cut u open rearrange and fix u back up
and no one will notice the change it your behaivor
fuck change fuck change fuck me im no savior

i hate i hate i hate being me
look watch and listen ull never know wat i mean
razor blades look pretty lodged in your eyes
mybe if i were all the way blind i wouldnt care wat the fuck was going on

i need to finish this lemme know wat u think so far